The Dream

Preparing for a wedding is a thrilling time full of excitement, dreams, hopes, and a  whirlwind of planning and details. Especially for those planning a large wedding, months of decision making go into creating the magical day that will merge two peoples lives onto the same path in front of God, family and friends.  There's an excitement that builds until the day finally comes when all the work and planning come to fruition; it's wonderful and romantic and if doubly blessed the magic continues into a honeymoon where the vows are affirmed and happily ever after really does feel possible.  And then the wedding is over, the honeymoon ends, and so begins the rest of the couple's lives together.    

After The Wedding

While blending two lives is truly a meaningful and worthwhile endeavor, it's not necessarily an easy one. Once the excitement of weddings and honeymoons are over then the real work begins as the reality of life sets in. No longer a fantasy of constant romance, the reality of dirty socks and toilet seats left up, bills to juggle and someone constantly in your space can feel a bit of a letdown in that first year. Similar to the after Christmas blahs we all experienced as children there's often a post wedding letdown which along with the eventual surfacing of issues that may never have appeared before the lifelong commitment was made, can make for a rocky first year.  And that year can set a tone for years to come.  Until you're there it's difficult to imagine  everything that goes into the merging of two lives.  It's a big deal.  A very big deal. And yet somehow most of us just expect that it will all come naturally and flow easily into a rhythm of two hearts beating as one. A beautiful and poetic image but rarely the experience.  So when the letdown happens and the issues emerge it can feel pretty scary, the fear itself becoming an issue which can wreak havoc in a new marriage.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  

The Journey

When going on any type of adventure, we usually learn about where we're going, research the items we'll need to make the trip go smoothly, what to expect when we get to certain places and how to navigate getting there in a fun and enjoyable manner. Planning the wedding is similar, yet rarely do we plan for the actual journey of the marriage itself, going into it with the expectation that love will handle it all.  That's a big burden to put on love, and by its very nature, love deserves all the care and nurturing it can get. And that's where premarital counseling comes in.  When you know what to expect and have the tools to deal with whatever comes up then issues that could create distance and resentments can actually bring you closer together as a couple. There are some simple yet powerful tools that can be gathered before the journey that can give a new couple the ability to use the issues that will inevitably arise to carry them into deeper more profound love than they even imagined.  

To plan for your journey together, call Terry Daggett for premarital and newlywed  counseling. Create the lives you want.