You Can Heal The Wounds of Sexual, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Abuse

A PLACE WHERE HEARTS AND SPIRITS GROW

YOU CAN HEAL FROM

CHILDHOOD ABUSE

THERAPY FOR ABUSE SURVIVORS

If you have lived through, sexual, physical, emotional abuse, or abuse of any kind you deserve to find a therapist, counselor, or healer that you trust. You were hurt in isolation and it's not the place where you can heal. You deserve kind eyes who recognize your strength and the power of your will to have survived. You do not deserve to be left in the black hole that every survivor recognizes, the darkness that can begin to feel like home. Do not get comfortable there. There is HOPE, HONOR, JOY and MEANING awaiting you as soon as you take the leap of faith it takes to take that first step out and commit to the journey. You deserve to know your true self, discover and share your gifts with the world. The world needs them and you deserve to express them. But this is not a journey to be taken alone.

Abuse creates so much shame and adults who have been living with that shame for such a long time learn to develop ways of covering it up. They hide in jobs that are beneath their intelligence and abilities; many become addicts in an effort to stop the pain; too many stay in the familiarity of abusive relationships, and some keep themselves so busy and so successful that they don't ever have time to feel. These are just a few of the hiding places, but regardless of the method they all result in one kind of isolation or another. Whether by actually physically choosing lifestyles of isolation from society or by hiding in the crowds of accolades and success that they never really feel or slow down enough to enjoy, isolation of one sort or another is the common thread...If you recognize any of these patterns as your own and are sick and tired of living in hiding, then know that there is a way out. And you deserve to take it.

Terry Daggett has not only been professionally trained to accompany people on their own healing journeys, but she has personally taken that same leap of faith for herself. She knows the darkness from her own experience and she now lives in the Light on the other side. The gratitude and joy of living she found from taking that journey so many years ago remain the key inspiration for doing the work she loves at Lightworks today. She would be honored to accompany you on your journey to wholeness and to reclaim the gifts that await you there.)

PARENTS & PARTNERS ABUSED AS CHILDREN

The effects of childhood abuse unfortunately doesn't end with our 21st birthdays. The long reach of abuse extends into every significant relationship we enter into as adults; the more significant the more powerful the effects. Statistically, it is more likely that children are abused by someone close to them, parents, close relatives, family friends, teachers even clergy. Such a major breach of trust by someone with whom a child's very survival often depends, later wreaks havoc on their ability to trust or be vulnerable when, once again, they enter into a close relationship. In the subconscious love equals pain, and when love comes around again, the fear of that same pain can make intimacy on any level extremely difficult. In a romantic relationship the partners of the once abused take the lack of trust personally, often not knowing or understanding why or what they've done to warrant such suspicion or fear. Children of parents who were abused in childhood often end up carrying guilt that they don't understand, wondering what they've done to make Mommy or Daddy pull away from them, or to be so angry all the time. There are numerous ways the effects of abuse enter into adult relationships or parenting, the examples above barely scratching the surface.

The good news is that the process of healing, for both survivors of abuse or their partners, friends, or family can potentiate a level of closeness and joy of living beyond what was previously imagined. For couples who elect to go through the process together, both sides grow enormously. If one or the other refuses, it's still extremely beneficial, even if you are the partner and the survivor initially refuses to get help. Learning how to cope can create an aura of safety that may very well inspire your partner to seek out help themselves. Either way, you learn how to take care of yourself and to understand certain behaviors, yours or theirs.

Abuse is often multigenerational so if you were abused as a child and are now a parent, the most loving responsible thing you can do for your children is to learn to love yourself and to leave the shame and pain in the past; not an easy thing to do, and certainly not something that you should be expected to do without help. If you could have you would have. You deserve to live a life of love, trust, laughter and light with your partner and your children. What happened to you was not your fault. Healing from the effects, although unfair, is your responsibility. However the healing is also a process that comes with many gifts, and keys to locked away yet beautiful parts of yourself that deserve to be set free. Change does take courage and a leap of faith and you're worth everything it takes to make that leap.

If you are a survivor of abuse or the partner, spouse, or adult child of an abuse survivor and are ready to embark on the healing journey, please call Terry Daggett for an appointment. Come by yourself, or together and know that there is more life and more love available than you may have ever thought possible.

WHEN ONE OR BOTH PARTNERS HAVE SUFFERED CHILDHOOD ABUSE

COUNSELING FOR COUPLES

As children when life is unbearable, full of trauma and fear of one sort or another we develop survival stategies to endure the the ongoing years of being trapped in an untenable situation. We close off our feelings and build a shell around the soft underbelly of our vulnerability. Or we get stuck in one specific feeling like anger and wear it like a badge of courage. While there are numerous strategies for surviving abuse, every one them a response of an intelligent psyche for finding a way to endure the unendurable, unfortunately, those very skills that got us through childhood wreak havoc in our adult lives--especially in the arena of close relationships.

Vulnerability is the cornerstone of intimacy and when one has trained oneself to cut themselves off from those tender parts, they are shut off to their partners as well. There is no malice in this and often as frustrating to the one who is cut off as it is to the partner who is left out in the cold. Just as often neither one understands what the problem really is or from where it stems, so they either blame themselves or each other or both. For the partner who continually experiences rejection it's painful and confusing, resentments and self doubts begin to pile up. For the one who keeps pushing away, often without even understanding why, the guilt and self criticism, combined with the hurt endured by their partner, creates an endless cycle pain for both sides.

But there is a way out of this cycle! If you are in a relationship where you feel left out of the other persons life, or one that is full of drama and inexplicaple fighting and chaos know there are reasons for it that go way beyond, "that person is a jerk or a bitch." When each individual gains understanding and compassion for the origins of the destructive behavior, the very act of bringing consciousness to it creates the opening for change. With willingness to learn new ways of being together comes the potential for a level of joy, intimacy and partnership that go beyond what you ever thought possible. It's not too late to be connected in love.

If you are tired of living in the mundane habits that breed boredom and contempt, that leave partners open to temptation or addictions, call Terry Daggett for an appointment at LIGHTWORKS, Beyond Therapy. She will support you in claiming the true meaning and adventure you signed up to create together.

Click here for more information on on parents or partners who were abused as children.

If you live out of the Bend area Terry is happy to work with you by phone or online

541-788-2385 in Bend, Oregon

Toll Free: 866-725-2977 for phone or online counseling or

SUGGESTED READING

Terry Daggett trained with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, receiving her certification from the Herndricks Institute in Conscious Relationship Coaching and Body Centered Therapy . First implementing the revolutionary communication and self awareness principles into her own life, she then incorporated them into her work with clients, often with dramatic results.

For anyone struggling with relationships, Terry highly recommends the book Conscious Loving by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks. And for anyone struggling with the relationship with self, Learning to Love Yourself, by Gay Hendricks and the workbook that goes with it are both tremendously powerful tools to get started on the healing path. Terry recommends both those books and many others written by the same authors to most of her clients at one point or another as an enhancement to the therapeutic process.

(If you are interested in buying any of the Hendricks books they are easily found at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble or any major book store.)